Behind Every Successful Man

Aliff might be moving to Jakarta.

Sounds familiar?

Lets rewind a bit.

Aliff was very playful in highschool, that was why most people were surprised when his SPM results were really good. He got a JPA scholarship. We were together for almost a year I think when he told me about the offer and asked me whether he should take it. I straight away said YES. duhhh.  I knew that that means we're going to be apart for about 4 years, but I didn't think that that should even be a hindrance nor a concern. We were still in the early stage of the relationship and it wasn't fair for him and most importantly his future for him to reject the offer simply because I would be left without a boyfriend here in Malaysia. I wasn't as attached to him back then as I am now and we were still very young to think of anything too far off in the future, as far as where our relationship would go (although I've always known that he is someone I could see myself marrying heee), so it was definitely a no-brainer for me. If we were able to survive the distance, then it would be a bonus.

So, almost 2 years into the relationship, Aliff flew to Chicago for his undergraduate studies at Northwestern University. He came back every year for 3 months for the summer holidays, except for his second year when he was back for only 3 weeks, cause being the nerd that he is, he wanted to take the short semester. I was at the airport sending him off every year, except for his third year I think cause I could not skip my class that day.

2004 - Sending him off the first time. Tengok Ika kecikkk je lagi

The whole family was there. We were there every year after that. Sorry Kakmira, this was the only group picture I found :p

2005 - Second year

2007 - Fourth year. It was Ramadhan. He wanted to celebrate Raya early, cause he never gets to celebrate it in Malaysia.

It was difficult, being apart, especially when ALL your girlfriends AND sisters HAVE BOYFRIENDS. Can you believe it? Everyone I was close with were all in relationships. I didn't have a "single" girlfriend. Seriously, being the only one "single" was definitely TORTURE. Especially during the holidays or special occassions. I hated being a thirdwheel. And Aliff was quite possessive when he was in the US, I had restrictions, and if I ever crossed any restrictions of his, HUGE FIGHT. But we didn't have any trust issues. I guess that was one of the reasons we were able to survive the LDR.

Amazingly, we survived the 4 years of LDR, without ever breaking up or "taking a break from each other". We fought a lot, and I mean A LOT. But it never got to that. We would not talk for prolly a day or two, but then we would miss each other and make up. We also MSN-ed a lot and talked on the phone everyday. Those were the days when I would top up almost every day (al-maklum, masa student tak mampu pakai line) and go to kedai uncle to get IDD cards. I forgot why we didn't skype. Belum popular lagi kot. I visited him once when he was in the US, during his final year in 2008, to attend his graduation. I was there for 12 days. His mum came on the 7th day. So dapatlah dating for atleast a week :)

During the Commencement

After the Graduation Ceremony
(The Commencement and Graduation Ceremony was on different days hence the different dress)

With his mum

We stopped by LA for a couple of days before returning home

Hollywood Walk of Fame

Universal Studios, LA


Santa Monica, LA

Aliff initially wanted to work in the US. Arghhhhh. Again, I didn't want to be a roadblock to his career path.  But, in 2008, the US was suffering from the economic crisis and many Americans couldn't get jobs, let alone foreigners, who were the first to be let go in most corporations. So, Aliff being the ambitious guy he is, applied for a postgrad program in Cambridge, UK. Guess what? He was accepted for the 1 year MPhil in Finance program. Deeeeeep breaths. How else was I supposed to feel but really happy for him. The program that he was accepted in is one of the most competitive, and its Cambridge. No second thoughts. Takpe, I said. What's one more year? But it was quite hard jugak sebab we were already in our 6th year when he left for UK. So I've already gotten sooo attached to him and misssing him terribly.

But he managed to stay on in Malaysia for about 2 months I think before departing for the UK, so he was able to attend my graduation in August 2008 :) He left in September 2008 I think.

Sending him off for UK. The hug might look really dramatic. Tapi this was the only year I did NOT cry. Dah biasa. :)

But to my surprise, it wasn't as difficult as it was when he was in the US. The time difference was much better. I had started my chambering and busy with work. I guess I was more matured then I was before. And one year passed by so quickly. And I got to visit him there, in April 2009, right after I finished my chambering, which was the best part. Got to shop at London, romanced in Paris...and Cambridge is such a beautiful town. My trip was just for a short 10 days because of work. But this time, no "mum". Heheh.

At King's College, Cambridge

Punting at river Cam, Cambridge

At Basilique du Sacré-Cœur, Paris

The Arc de Triomphe

Tour Eiffel, Paree

Eiffel, I'm in Love!

Musée du Louvre

Moulin Rouge

Notre Dame de Paris

Big Ben, London

London Bridge

Madame Tussauds, London

Pembroke Dinner, Cambridge

 I couldn't make it for his graduation, which was a few months after I went to see him.

Aliff at his Congregation

 Tapi belum lega lagi. Aliff. He applied for jobs in London. He even went for an interview when I was there visiting him, where he "abandoned" me for about 4 hours in London alone. Nasib he taught me to ride the tube to Covent Garden and Oxford Street for me to shop. Pandai.  

BUT, because the economic crisis has shifted to the European countries in 2008/09, it was also hard for him to get the jobs that he wanted. He was very selective. He was hardcore into Investment Banking, which was the most badly hit by the crisis. Prominent investment banks were going under, and people were being laid off. I don't know, maybe God pitied me, his rezeki was not abroad. 

So in July 2009, Aliff came home. Being Aliff, he didn't take a long break, and started work 2 weeks after he touched down in Malaysia.

The point of this entry is to share my patience with Aliff's ambitions. All I was able to do was to be supportive. I was just really happy that after 5 years, I didn't have to celebrate Valentines Day, Birthdays, Hari Raya-s via the internet, I can finally RSVP as a couple and I no longer have to feel like a thirdwheel, among others. At the end of 5 years being apart, I had my boyfriend back for good.

Or so I thought.

Just recently Aliff joined CIMB Investment - Regional M&A. Note the word "Regional". His team does cross-border deals, which means, his clients are non-Malaysian corporations. *I know I am speaking in lay-man terms here and Aliff would just laugh reading this, but seriously I cant talk finance.* Aliff has always talked about his interest to work in Jakarta because apparently, Jakarta is the financial hub in South East Asia. 

So, now I have been informed that he might be seconded to the Jakarta office for about 5-6 months. Not sure when that will happen, or if it will ever happen. But if that offer comes up, I already know Aliff's answer. It has been all that he has ever talked about since he came home from UK. Jakarta is the place he has to go if he were to gain all the experience he needs and for him to grow in his profession. 

What crosses my mind now is not just the distance (again!!), but the earthquakes, tsunami and Gunung Merapi-s in Indonesia. The tsunami in 2004 shook me to the bone and I am only just recovering and finding myself able to go to the sea again. With all the natural disasters in Indonesia right now, I don't think I would be able to sleep soundly while he's there. And so close to the wedding????  Deeeeeeepppppppp breaths. Inhale. Exhale. This past 1 and half years since he came back from UK has been the BEST. I was just getting comfortable (tooo comfortable) having him around all the time, although his working hours is crazy, and I get to only talk to him like for 10 seconds per call, but he's just soooo near.

The ONLY upside that I can think of by him going  to Jakarta is it would be convenient and economical for me to shop for wedding stuff in Jakarta. No worries on accommodation and he said he'll pay for my flights if I come visit. Tapi apa je ada dekat Jakarta? Wedding invites, favors ... lagi? Lace? I already bought 2 pieces of white lace. My strategy is, if you find something for the wedding, at a really affordable price, and it's really nice, doesn't matter if its still early, GET THEM. Because from experience, things tend to not show up when you're looking for them. I don't know whether that is smart or plain membazir. But that's how I'm rolling.

ANYWAY, yeap. If that were to happen, especially if it continues after the wedding, I guess it's back to square one. I can't quit my job and follow him. His secondment is not permanent. It might be 5-6 months, it might be a year. And it might not only be Jakarta. It can be Thailand or Singapore. 

*can I please curse!!*

Quitting and becoming a housewife this soon is just not smart. I worked hard in getting my LLB. I want a career. All I can do is understand and support his ambitions and that he is doing it for our future. And most importantly I don't want to be the obstacle in him realising his dreams and passion. See kids (future kids insyaAllah hehe), look what mummy has to sacrifice?

Sabar separuh dari iman.

I always doa to Allah after prayers; Murahkan rezeki Aliff supaya dia mencapai cita-citanya, Dekatkan dan Panjangkan jodoh kami. (apart from praying for good health for the family and also for me to have my perfect and beautiful wedding heeee :))))).

So, dear readers. Please pray for my strength to overcome the obstacles in me realising the day I have been dreaming of since forever and that me and Aliff would stand the test of time...and distance. 

In times like this, I would always remember Tun Dr. Mahathir's quote: 

"Behind every successful man is not a woman, but a wife".

I know I am not his wife yet, but we are practically married anyway, and that is what I am counting down to for anyway right? being his wife? 
 
Story of my life.