Marriage Approval and Hantarans

Just came back from Advisory Conference in Kuantan last Saturday. Was there from the 14th-16th (Thursday - Saturday).

Remember this post about Aliff going to Jakarta? Well, while I was in Kuantan, received a text from Aliff saying that his boss had asked him to go to Jakarta for one month and he'll be leaving next Saturday the 23rd. What? So close to the wedding already?? His boss has the BEST timing!!!!!! He'll have to be there for a month, but he'll be back in Malaysia once a fortnight. Which is only once lah cause he'll only be there for a month kan. 1 month ONLY ok Mr A. After the wedding please don't take my husband away! *chehhh 'husband'* :)))

Tried to sneak away on Friday the 15th so I don't waste my Saturday on travelling back from Kuantan, but did not succeed. Haih. So, Saturday morning, around 11am, I shoot back home and arrived at about 2pm to continue with the wedding preparations.

With Aliff leaving for Jakarta so soon, we had to speed up with some of the preparations that required Aliff's involvement. So, this is last week's round up:

1. GROOM's FITTING

Once I reached home, called Aliff to pick me up to go to his fitting at Baron's Gentlemen. Fitting was for his Nikah Baju Melayu and Reception Suit. Fitting went well. Aliff was satisfied. The baju melayu was ready, the suit will be ready sometime next week. But since Aliff won't be here, we'll probably pick them up when he comes back.

Groom's Fitting = CHECKED.

2. JAIS PROCEDURES

I had planned for Aliff to get his validation from the PPN (Penolong Pendaftar Nikah) of his qariah mosque on Thursday night and then to go to JAIS Friday morning to get the marriage approval. For the qadi, we both wanted this particular ustaz, Ustaz Khairul Jahrin because he was one of the speakers during the kursus kahwin that we attended and he was really funny and nice. So Aliff called him up to book him as our qadi. Coincidentally, he was the PPN for the both of us (we both are under the same qariah mosque - Masjid SS15, because our addresses are so near to each other). So Aliff met with him on Thursday night. Initially I wanted to do mine together with Aliff, but I had to attend Advisory's Conference, so we decided that Aliff did his first. Ustaz Khairul told Aliff that Aliff didnt have to go to JAIS because he works there and he'll do the approval for Aliff. And he said I could bring my wali and witnesses to see him when I come back and he'll also do the approval for me. YEAY. Tak payah cuti to go to JAIS. So, on Saturday night, me, my wali (Bapak), my witnesses (Papa Chen and Adri) and my future husband went to see the Ustaz at Masjid SS15. We filled in the forms and signed where necessary and the rest the Ustaz will do for us.Thank my lucky stars! All that is left is for us to just pick up from him the Surat Kebenaran Berkahwin. Aliff will do that.

Jais Procedures = CHECKED. 

3. HANTARANS

On Sunday me and Aliff went to look for our hantaran stuff. The two important and main components of the hantaran was the rings and the watches. Aliff have always wanted a watch. He has this fascination with watches that is waaaayyy beyond my pay check - names like Longines, Breitling, Jaeger- LeCoultre, Audemars Piguet, IWC, Patek Philippe (names I've grown accustomed with since I met Aliff) eeeksss. *telan air liur* ... For me, I guess the usual hantaran item for ladies are handbags and shoes. But I decided for Aliff to get me a watch instead - reason: I don't own a really nice watch and watches are very sentimental and timeless, something that you will always keep and treasure especially the really expensive ones lah kan. Ahaha. So, hantarans, being the Groom's gifts to the Bride, I think a watch is definitely a winner. Unless Aliff can also, in addition to the watch, get me a chanel classic flap bag and a salvatore ferragamo vara leather pumps. Ahahha. Takpelah, tak nak ketuk dia sangat. Kesian dia. Maybe anniversary gifts, Aliff?

Anyway, those are the 2 items that will drill a huge hole in our pockets, so we decided to get them first. We went to BSC at Bangsar.

Watches
Went to this watch chop called Hing's Watch. As i have said earlier, Aliff has a high taste for watches. *Pejam Mata* Itu pun what I got for him was not his first choice. Sabar ok sayang, when I leave this place and make more I'll get you your Breitling or Audemars Piguet or IWC *chehhhh confident jeee boleh ke?* Ahahah. Me, I didn't have a specific preference for watches. Aliff insisted that we should get watches from watch makers and not designer brands. So, I decided to get my watch from the same brand as his. Unless he wants to get me an Omega or Cartier lah kan. Ahaha. So, we got his and hers watches :))))) *matching gitu*.

Rings
We have been surveying for rings ever since we got engaged. I've always wanted a solitaire diamond on a diamond ecrusted band.  The size of the diamond is not so much an issue (ofcourse the bigger the ice the better ;p), but I've always loved a princess cut diamond.



Kakmira's friend, Dila who has a shop at BSC (Poya), who is also a bride-to-be this year,  had recommended Fa'iq Jewel, a jewellery shop near her shop. So we went there, sat for about a couple of hours, got a tutorial on diamond quality (cut, color, clarity, carat etc) and finally decided on THE ring. We decided on a solitaire ring - triple excellent round brilliant cut, colorless, with slight inclusion on a simple four claw band - Aliff preferred a bigger size for the diamond, so, to keep within his budget I had to let go of the diamonds encrusted band. I was ok with it because I will be wearing the wedding ring with my engagement ring which is already a diamond encrusted band. Maybe for our first year anniversary, we can change the band? :)))) And the jeweller there told me that round brilliant is the best cut for a diamond...takpe lah, I'm not so fussy on the ring sangat...don't know why...I didn't have a bridezilla moment that day. Ahahaha. Anyway, the band had to be refitted because I have really small fingers (i'm a size 8). It will be ready this week.  We decided to get Aliff's ring next Saturday before he leaves. Aliff is not so keen on wearing any jewellery, so he insisted that I don't spend so much on his ring, but to allocate more for his shoes (which is also one of Aliff's fetish).

So, Bride's Ring, His & Hers Watches = CHECKED.

***********

oh yeah, tengah happy-happy on Sunday

after getting the ring and watch and all,

on the way home we met with a traumatic incident.

put simply, we encountered a person who i pray that none of us will ever meet or become.

someone i will remember and truly curse forever.

i do not pray that you crash your car and die painfully and horrificly,

although that is what i want, but because i have my religion and faith,

i pray that Allah will do justice for me and aliff and every other person

who has had the most terrible luck of meeting you.

i pity your family and friends to have someone like you in their life.

i pity the woman who has been destined to be your companion.

i pity the children that you are going to have and

the generation that will forever be tainted by your existence.

 i pray that these people be given the strength and patience by having you in their lives.

 ******************

HIV TEST

One of the requirements for marriage approval is for the future bride and groom to take the HIV test. There seems to be a misconception that the requirement is for you to pass the test. NO. You only have to take the test. The result will not affect the marriage approval as far as the authorities are concerned. It's purpose is so that you will be aware of your partner's result. If it is positive, then it is up to you whether or not you will proceed with the marriage. Marriage in Islam is all about consent and the agreement of both parties to marry. And if you choose to proceed, the authorities will advice you on how the marriage can work and what precautions you will need to take. Read here.

You can ONLY take the test in government clinics. So I made an appointment with Klinik Kesihatan Kerajaan at Shah Alam because it is the nearest to Subang. It is in Seksyen 7, Persiaran Kayangan. It is near Shah Alam's I-City and UITM back entrance and is right next to JAKEL.

I think most clinics require you to make an appointment first. No walk-ins. And the time for the tests starts at 2.30pm until 3.30pm. But I heard that the one in Klang allows walk-in. I think it depends on the traffic that day. If there are not many, then probably they'll accept walk-ins. But I think it is advisable to just make an appointment. For Shah Alam, the number to call is 03-55186531. For other places, numbers can be found from JAIS's website.

Anyway, me and Aliff took leave yesterday (Tuesday, 15th March 2011) to test for HIV. You can actually just take time off or half day because the test does not take long, but Aliff wanted to do some medical check ups at SJMC in the morning and I, well, cuti je lah. Hahah. Woke up at 8.00am, had our breakfast at SJMC, and by 12 noon Aliff settled his check ups. We drove to Shah Alam at about 1.30pm (time allocated for getting lost and our stop to get some bubble tea). We reached there at about 2.30pm. Parking there was limited so we parked outside, at the side of the road, illegal ofcourse, but there were no where else to park.

Once you reach, you have to fill in some form which you have to get from the 1st floor. Then submit it to counter 4 downstairs. Wait till they call your name. You'll have to pay RM1 for the test. Then submit your form to room 13 where you'll have to wait again for your name to be called for them to take a specimen of your blood. They'll prick your finger with this small device to take a drop of your blood. Then wait some more. They'll then call your name and give you a yellow copy of the form that you filled in earlier.

 

That's about it.

No questions were asked, no explanations whatsoever. I remembered watching one of the SATC episodes when Samantha went for HIV test, she was interviewed and asked a lot of personal questions. Anyway, none of that here. Just going from one counter to the other submitting your forms and waiting, with minimal conversation with the nurses, or none at all. They only speak when asked. Well, what more can you ask for from government hospitals? Them not giving sarcasm remarks or giving daring looks at you is a plus already. Anyway, much to our surprise and delight, the several 'waiting' did not take long. Everything was done in about 45 minutes or so.

The yellow form will say that the named officer has tested you for HIV. It does not state the result.

So to make sure, we asked the nurse whether there is anything else that we should do upon receiving the yellow form. She said there's nothing else to be done. If there is no problem with the result it means we've passed. Not that there was anything to be worried of, we just wanted to make sure that we've met with all the procedures to avoid having to do the test again.

So, I guessed we passed the test.

Ok, so next will be for the validation from the Qariah and the approval from JAIS.

Kursus Kahwin

One of the requirements in this country for couples to get married is to attend the Pre-Wedding Course.

Every year you hear that the syllabus or the module of the course will change, from a 2 day course, to a 2 days 2 nights course where you have to participate and attend the qiyamullail at nights. Because December was just packed with weddings and other stuff, I called up JAIS (Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor) and asked them whether the syllabus will change in 2011. They assured me it was still going to be the same 2 day course where you basically just sit and listen. So, we decided to go in January 2011.

We decided to go to the one organised by JAIS, because it's just in Shah Alam which is 10 minutes from home, and Kakmira and Adri went there for their pre-wedding course and they enjoyed it. I downloaded the form here and faxed it from my office. I had to forge Aliff's signature because, well, he comes home too late for me to wait up for him just to sign the form. And I can't wait until the weekend because it becomes full very fast. So, if anyone wants to do their pre-wedding course there, you have to submit your forms atleast 2-3 weeks before the date you have chosen.

The date we chose were on the 22nd and 23rd January (the courses are only on Saturdays and Sundays).

So last weekend, me and Aliff had to sacrifice our "waking up late on weekends" to attend the pre-wedding course. Registration on the first day starts at 745am - 815am. Being me, I like to arrive early, so I woke Aliff up at 700am. Although it's just 10 minutes away and there will definitely be no traffic congestion as it was on a weekend, I purposedly told him to pick me up as early as 715am because I was anticipating the 15 minutes that he's going to be late, and the other 5-10 minutes of filling in petrol etc. He picked me up at 730am, stopped for gas and we arrived close to 800am. Imagine if I had asked him to come at 730am :)

The first day was interesting. Although the topics of the lecture was quite boring, but the lecturers were sooooooo funny that I hurt my mouth from laughing too much. Seriously. These people may be ustaz, but they are quite open and liberal about husband and wife relationship, if you know what I mean. The food was nice, nothing to complain. They served breakfast, lunch and tea. The first day ended at about 500pm.

The second day was not as fun as the first day, but still bearable. The lecturers on the second day was not as funny so there were times I almost fell asleep. So, I opened my Wedding Binder and started calculating the budgets and cutting where necessary - keeping up with my motto of "sticking to the budget". But there was one lecturer from Kementerian Kesihatan, who talked about health and STDs and pregnancy and giving birth....this lecture was very VISUAL. He showed us videos and pictures which brought back everyone's attention from the lack of during the prior lecture. One of the most impact-ful (is there such word?) video would be the video of giving birth. YIKES. Makes you think twice of getting pregnant and giving birth.....sakitnyaaaaaaaaa....and all the blood...alamak. It's ok. I am going to persevere. If I get pregnant, I am still planning to go for the natural birth. Kalau mati pun mati syahid kan?

Anyway, although there were some boring lectures, it was definitely a fun experience. The only downside is they did not allow us to eat with our other half...booo. But me and Aliff cheating sikit ... the did not put us in different rooms to eat, and there's actually no signage saying where the girls or boys eat. But there were 2 buffet tables. So, faham-faham lah. Me and Aliff sat at the end of the girls/boys area, so we got to seat next to each other. Hahahaha. It was my plan lahhh. Aliff penakut. Ahaha. A good suggestion would be that you go with a friend who is also getting married, if you don't plan to make friends, like me :) Other than that, anyone who plans to attend the requisite pre-wedding course, I would definitely recommend the one organised by JAIS.

The 2 day course was enlightening. Ofcourse there's the feeling of losing your weekend, but it sheds some light on getting married, especially the procedures. There's so many things that you have to do (tests, approvals, getting witnesses) to get married in Malaysia. It's not just saying "Aku terima nikahnya". Ahaha. So, we have to get all that done before Aliff goes to Jakarta, or it'll be too late and we'll be rushing.

NEXT: HIV Test.


Toodles.