Jari Manis - The 4th Finger

Found this interesting article.

I thought it would be nice to share.

have u ever wondered why the wedding ring is placed on the 4th finger?

fingers represent our life:

thumb = parents
index finger = siblings
3rd (center) finger = own self
4th finger = partner/spouse
5th (little) finger = our children

.........

 

let's try this game:
join your palms as shown in photo below

• bend the center finger and place them together back to back
• place the rest of the 4 fingers tip to tip

Game begins..

1. Try to part your thumb, the thumb represents parents, it can be parted because all human being  go through sickness and death. Our parents will leave us one day.

2.  Then part  your second finger, this finger represents brothers and sisters, they will have their own family which is the reason that they will leave us too.

3.Next, part your pinky, this represents your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they will have their own life and family. 

4. Try to part your fourth finger where we wear our wedding ring; you will be surprised to find that it cannot be parted at all. Because it represents husband and wife, your whole life,  you will be attached to each other.

****

INTERESTING RIGHT?

:)

Marriage Approval and Hantarans

Just came back from Advisory Conference in Kuantan last Saturday. Was there from the 14th-16th (Thursday - Saturday).

Remember this post about Aliff going to Jakarta? Well, while I was in Kuantan, received a text from Aliff saying that his boss had asked him to go to Jakarta for one month and he'll be leaving next Saturday the 23rd. What? So close to the wedding already?? His boss has the BEST timing!!!!!! He'll have to be there for a month, but he'll be back in Malaysia once a fortnight. Which is only once lah cause he'll only be there for a month kan. 1 month ONLY ok Mr A. After the wedding please don't take my husband away! *chehhh 'husband'* :)))

Tried to sneak away on Friday the 15th so I don't waste my Saturday on travelling back from Kuantan, but did not succeed. Haih. So, Saturday morning, around 11am, I shoot back home and arrived at about 2pm to continue with the wedding preparations.

With Aliff leaving for Jakarta so soon, we had to speed up with some of the preparations that required Aliff's involvement. So, this is last week's round up:

1. GROOM's FITTING

Once I reached home, called Aliff to pick me up to go to his fitting at Baron's Gentlemen. Fitting was for his Nikah Baju Melayu and Reception Suit. Fitting went well. Aliff was satisfied. The baju melayu was ready, the suit will be ready sometime next week. But since Aliff won't be here, we'll probably pick them up when he comes back.

Groom's Fitting = CHECKED.

2. JAIS PROCEDURES

I had planned for Aliff to get his validation from the PPN (Penolong Pendaftar Nikah) of his qariah mosque on Thursday night and then to go to JAIS Friday morning to get the marriage approval. For the qadi, we both wanted this particular ustaz, Ustaz Khairul Jahrin because he was one of the speakers during the kursus kahwin that we attended and he was really funny and nice. So Aliff called him up to book him as our qadi. Coincidentally, he was the PPN for the both of us (we both are under the same qariah mosque - Masjid SS15, because our addresses are so near to each other). So Aliff met with him on Thursday night. Initially I wanted to do mine together with Aliff, but I had to attend Advisory's Conference, so we decided that Aliff did his first. Ustaz Khairul told Aliff that Aliff didnt have to go to JAIS because he works there and he'll do the approval for Aliff. And he said I could bring my wali and witnesses to see him when I come back and he'll also do the approval for me. YEAY. Tak payah cuti to go to JAIS. So, on Saturday night, me, my wali (Bapak), my witnesses (Papa Chen and Adri) and my future husband went to see the Ustaz at Masjid SS15. We filled in the forms and signed where necessary and the rest the Ustaz will do for us.Thank my lucky stars! All that is left is for us to just pick up from him the Surat Kebenaran Berkahwin. Aliff will do that.

Jais Procedures = CHECKED. 

3. HANTARANS

On Sunday me and Aliff went to look for our hantaran stuff. The two important and main components of the hantaran was the rings and the watches. Aliff have always wanted a watch. He has this fascination with watches that is waaaayyy beyond my pay check - names like Longines, Breitling, Jaeger- LeCoultre, Audemars Piguet, IWC, Patek Philippe (names I've grown accustomed with since I met Aliff) eeeksss. *telan air liur* ... For me, I guess the usual hantaran item for ladies are handbags and shoes. But I decided for Aliff to get me a watch instead - reason: I don't own a really nice watch and watches are very sentimental and timeless, something that you will always keep and treasure especially the really expensive ones lah kan. Ahaha. So, hantarans, being the Groom's gifts to the Bride, I think a watch is definitely a winner. Unless Aliff can also, in addition to the watch, get me a chanel classic flap bag and a salvatore ferragamo vara leather pumps. Ahahha. Takpelah, tak nak ketuk dia sangat. Kesian dia. Maybe anniversary gifts, Aliff?

Anyway, those are the 2 items that will drill a huge hole in our pockets, so we decided to get them first. We went to BSC at Bangsar.

Watches
Went to this watch chop called Hing's Watch. As i have said earlier, Aliff has a high taste for watches. *Pejam Mata* Itu pun what I got for him was not his first choice. Sabar ok sayang, when I leave this place and make more I'll get you your Breitling or Audemars Piguet or IWC *chehhhh confident jeee boleh ke?* Ahahah. Me, I didn't have a specific preference for watches. Aliff insisted that we should get watches from watch makers and not designer brands. So, I decided to get my watch from the same brand as his. Unless he wants to get me an Omega or Cartier lah kan. Ahaha. So, we got his and hers watches :))))) *matching gitu*.

Rings
We have been surveying for rings ever since we got engaged. I've always wanted a solitaire diamond on a diamond ecrusted band.  The size of the diamond is not so much an issue (ofcourse the bigger the ice the better ;p), but I've always loved a princess cut diamond.



Kakmira's friend, Dila who has a shop at BSC (Poya), who is also a bride-to-be this year,  had recommended Fa'iq Jewel, a jewellery shop near her shop. So we went there, sat for about a couple of hours, got a tutorial on diamond quality (cut, color, clarity, carat etc) and finally decided on THE ring. We decided on a solitaire ring - triple excellent round brilliant cut, colorless, with slight inclusion on a simple four claw band - Aliff preferred a bigger size for the diamond, so, to keep within his budget I had to let go of the diamonds encrusted band. I was ok with it because I will be wearing the wedding ring with my engagement ring which is already a diamond encrusted band. Maybe for our first year anniversary, we can change the band? :)))) And the jeweller there told me that round brilliant is the best cut for a diamond...takpe lah, I'm not so fussy on the ring sangat...don't know why...I didn't have a bridezilla moment that day. Ahahaha. Anyway, the band had to be refitted because I have really small fingers (i'm a size 8). It will be ready this week.  We decided to get Aliff's ring next Saturday before he leaves. Aliff is not so keen on wearing any jewellery, so he insisted that I don't spend so much on his ring, but to allocate more for his shoes (which is also one of Aliff's fetish).

So, Bride's Ring, His & Hers Watches = CHECKED.

***********

oh yeah, tengah happy-happy on Sunday

after getting the ring and watch and all,

on the way home we met with a traumatic incident.

put simply, we encountered a person who i pray that none of us will ever meet or become.

someone i will remember and truly curse forever.

i do not pray that you crash your car and die painfully and horrificly,

although that is what i want, but because i have my religion and faith,

i pray that Allah will do justice for me and aliff and every other person

who has had the most terrible luck of meeting you.

i pity your family and friends to have someone like you in their life.

i pity the woman who has been destined to be your companion.

i pity the children that you are going to have and

the generation that will forever be tainted by your existence.

 i pray that these people be given the strength and patience by having you in their lives.

 ******************

The Merisik - 10.4.2010

So after 7 years of being together, his mum suddenly told him one day that she wants to bring wawa (his grandmother) to see my parents to discuss the Merisik. According to the future MIL, wawa has certain traditions when it comes to these things and that they should meet at a place outside of the house to discuss the Merisik before the actual Merisik. Our parents had met and known each other since the first couple of years of us being together, and us getting married is nothing of a surprise, I would even say inevitable, but all in the name of tradition, they met at Coffee Bean, Subang Parade (wouldn't say that the Coffee Bean suits the whole "traditional" concept but I guess nowadays you can only follow so much of the malay tradition kan?). They agreed for the Merisik to be on the 10th of April 2010 in conjunction with Aliff's 25th birthday. They also agreed that the Bertunang will be somewhere in July and that we will be engaged for one year. [Their discussion that day are actually pre-agreed by me and Aliff - the dates were decided by us based on our schedules, hence, their "meeting" that day was actually just a formality for wawa's sake :) ].

So, Aliff's parents were bringing 10 people who are the closest uncles and aunts of Aliff. And as usual, due to the size of my mum's family, our side would be about 20+ people. I always thought that Merisik only involved the parents of the couple and maybe the grandparents. And that "meeting" at Coffee Bean would have been the Merisik had it been done at home. For Kakmira's "Merisik", if I remember correctly, was attended by close to  100 people (kan?), with canopies outside the house and catering complete with  hantarans from both sides of the family. I thought that her "Merisik" was more like the "Bertunang", but without the diamond ring. But that was her MIL's kind of Merisik. Kakmira didn't have a Bertunang. Anyhow, ikut je lah orang tua kan. As long as they are happy. I guess the malay traditions varies and are interpreted differently among the different families and that what is being practiced nowadays are mere formalities. My family is not so traditional, especially my mother, so we just follow what the guy's side wants to do.

Preparations for the Merisik was nothing to be stressed about  - we decided that it was going to be high tea, with light refreshments, just a simple get together.

Food - Eventhough it was supposed to be light refreshments - high tea-concept, for my family, food is never "light". My mum made macaronies and spaghetti. My dad bought sate. We ordered roti jala, poppiya goreng and some aunts brought kuih. For desert, my mum also made bubur kacang and fruits were served.



Aunty Judy (Kakmira's MIL) helping setting up the food on the buffet table



Ensemble - At first I thought I'd just wear a simple kurung, something I already have in the closet. I thought yellow would be sweet. Turns out, I didn't have a yellow-simple-kurung. Others might have just changed the color and  find any other nice kurung. But being "me", I HAD to wear a yellow kurung. heeee. So i bought 4 metres of light yellow chiffon and sent it to my beloved Cindy (my tailor of almost 20 years).



This is one of the few pictures of me in full.



Make Up/Hair - No professionals. Just simple and light make up that I did myself and later touched-up by ibu. For hair, initially I planned to go to Cut N Blow, the saloon near my house which I usually frequent. I just wanted a straight hair-blow which I could do myself as it's a daily routine for me, but I just like people washing my hair and the complimentary light massage that they would do. Tapi, we went off schedule that morning, and by the time I was free to go, there was not a single car at home (everyone went out to get stuff; bapak went to get the sate, Adri went to get fold tables, Kakmira went to get extra plates and table cloth from her house, Syida went to get the cake for Aliff - I think Kakmira only brought home one car that weekend so one of them used my car). So, I ended up doing my own hair - mula-mula macam merajuk, then while blowing my hair, I thought it's a small thing lah. Jangan mengada. Haha.



Hantaran - There wasn't any hantaran per se, Aliff's side would be bringing the ring and a cake. So it was only proper for the girl's side to balas - we gave a basket of fruits and a tray of pineapple tart that an aunt made.

Decorations - Nothing much. The day before the Merisik I went to Floristika, Bangsar to get some flowers for centrepieces and the side table to where I'll be sitting when wawa sarung the ring.

Above: Sweet Williams and Baby's Breath for the centrepieces
Below: Carnations, Chrysanthemums, Ping-Pong Flowers (or so they are called) and Daisies for the side table  

So the event started with the arrival of Aliff's family at about 5pm. Then the uncles started discussing about the Merisik; details of engagement, wedding etc - Then I was called down to make sure that they are talking about the right girl. Ahaha. Then, wawa sarung cincin. Followed by the doa. Aliff came after that and everyone then proceeded to our porch area to eat. Later we surprised Aliff with a birthday cake. That was it. Nice and simple, just the way i like it.

These are a few of the pictures taken that day. 



L: Arrival of Aliff's family - Wawa in the wheel chair with Mummy Dek, Aliff's youngest aunt.
R: Uncles discussing and I was told there was exchange of  pantun-s.



L: Aliff's aunts
R: My aunts



L: Alia, Adik and Kakmira
R: Lulu Alani

Me, eavesdropping :)

It's time to go down

The Ring - was told that for Merisik it had to be belah rotan. Is is usually gold, but I prefer white gold :) 

Sarung Cincin

This is Adri my BIL, being very helpful :)

My guests across the ocean in the land down under via Skype. Don't you love technology :)
L: Syida's other half, and future BIL, Asyraf
R: Kakak - best friends even before birth

The very-very helpful helpers. Thank you bibik-bibik dan kakak-kakak!
L-R: Kak Su (My grandmother's right wing), Cik Kakak/Kak Huriah a.k.a Chief (the bestest - have been with us for 8 years now), Kak Su (my aunt's helper), Bibik Muammah (the latest addition-Lulu Alani's bestfriend) and Bibik Gemuk/Bibik Urut (Bestfriend Kak Huriah)

Future MIL and me. Matching yellow :)

The family

Aliff's entourage balik - Wawa waving so adorably.