PREGNANT

Hahahahah...

NO.

I am not.

I am not pregnant...

....YET.

InsyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki.

It has been awhile since i wrote. Well I started this blog to write about my wedding, and now that that's done, I'm basically running out of topic to write. I know some bridezilla bloggers shift their writing to babies, as most of them gets knocked up quite soon after the wedding...

That has not happened to me, so no baby talk...

....YET.

Anyway, an incident today triggered me to write...

A colleague (not really a close one, we attend the same monthly meetings) got married about a couple of months before me...and after her wedding I noticed that she had gained some weight...and everytime I saw her, she seems to be gaining more weight...so, today when I saw her, I innocently asked her,

"dah pregnant ke?"

She replied:

"Takdelah, gemuk jee.."

....and walked away...

Whoopppsss...should have just kept my mouth shut.

Awkward.

Then my other friend told me, before I had asked that question, she had actually complained to my friend that she keeps on getting these "are you pregnant" question, and she was kind of annoyed..."kalau dah kahwin, kena ke terus ada baby?"

Ok. So, I was just being my curious self. It was wrong of me to assume that, just coz she had gained weight...I should have known better. I let my curiosity took the better of me. She must've felt annoyed, that, not even was she pregnant yet, but her body actually suggests that she is...**SLAPS FACE HARD**

I always hear people complaining of always being asked "oooh dah pregnant ke?", "bila nak ada isi?", and the most irritating, "tak pregnant lagi?" ... I guess if you get it all the time, those questions can be annoying and when you answer "NO" or "Belum ready lagi", SOME, not all, but there are SOME "annoying-judgmental" faces that comes after such reply.

I am a newly wed, and believe me, I get the same questions ALL the time...I myself was asked that question this morning when I stepped out of my car in the parking lot by a colleague who attended my wedding...I was even asked that like 1 month after my wedding...seriously? that fast? well, yes for those "bunting-pelamin" cases. But I never felt annoyed...I honestly don't feel any negative feeling whatsoever...I do get "the faces" when I say, "belum ready lagi kot", "belum try lagi" .... Oh well. I don't take offence or read in to it that much. It's my life, it's my body... But, I have learnt that to avoid those "faces" you dont have divulge all that, a simple "belum ada rezeki, insyaAllah" would suffice...so, that's my tagline for now.

Minus those prying-judgmental-freaks, I understand that the rest of them are just making small talks, and I appreciate that they are trying, and being human, I think it is natural for such questions to be asked after you have been recently married...I'm sure MOST of the time, they don't mean anything by it, simply to make small conversations...

I am sure to those who are trying, and not yet pregnant, those questions can feel like unneccessary pressure, or creeping into other people's business...and although I have not experienced it (god forbid I have to), I understand the frustration when such question is asked. Its not enough that you yourself, your mother, mother-in-law are questioning, then you have strangers, or people you are not closed to asking the same questions. And if you have gained weight, people automatically assume that you are pregnant, and that just makes your self esteem go way down as you have become so big that the only explanation is pregnancy.

I REALISE now, that those questions may be inappropriate...I've actually known this coz I ALWAYS hear people complaining, but I guess I've never asked, and was never shut off like today...so it just REMINDED me that, you know, those things are personal, and you have to respect that it can be sensitive to others even if it is not sensitive to you...who knows, if I started trying for a baby, and god forbids, it takes a while before I am baking, that it may be something I'd rather not be asked right?

Anyway, my point is, I understand and reminded again that that kind of question can be irritating, inapproriate and better left un-asked...and I've learnt my lesson...It was wrong for me to assume, it must have offended her...so, this is my apology to you...since I don't have the courage to say it to your face...I'm sure you are having a grudge on me now... :/

And although I am ok (for now) to being asked that question, I can not assume how others would feel...so, the lesson is: DON'T ASK..if they want to tell you, they'll tell you...or just wait until it is VERY CLEAR that she IS pregnant...then ask the other irritating questions "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" hahahhaha...if it is clear, why ask? ... or "DO YOU KNOW THE SEX?" "CAN I HOLD YOUR TUMMY?" Maybe we have to be more creative in making small talks and not to focus on personal questions...

However we try to deny or abstain from it, we ARE busy-bodies!

Human. We have a sickness for small talks.

Playing House and Tim's Baby Boy

It was last Sunday (17.10.2010), woke up early after a late night with Farina and Nabila. Met them Saturday night at WIP, Bangsar with Aliff after watching Eat.Pray.Love. The movie was ok-lah, story line not so interesting, but I think it was short of total boredom because of the places that Julia Roberts went in the movie and the food she ate in Rome. The way she ate the spaghetti, the pizza and the asparagus especially....yummmsssss. What "muffin top"? Just buy bigger jeans. Ahahahah. Oh, and an embarassing thing happened in the movie, i fell, on my bum, at the steps when we were looking for our seat before the movie started and spilled most of our popcorn. *MALU SIOT* Nasib baik it was dark and we were still at the top seats, so I didn't get a full audience lah. Anyone who saw Eat.Pray.Love at TGV Sunway, on Saturday and saw someone fell, it wasn't me. Some poor kid. Ahah. After the movie Aliff swiped me a pair of Charles and Keith. (Wouldn't it be the sweetest story if he had swiped to console me for the embarassment? I wish. He swiped coz I didn't have cash - have to pay back one.) Anyway, we met the girls at Bangsar after that to chill and discuss Nabila's wedding and hen party. Aliff invited his colleague to join us so he can deviate us from boring wedding talks. Well, we continued discussing Nabila's wedding after his colleague left. Boohoo.

So ok, I've deviated from the reason I wrote this entry. It was Sunday morning. Since we had a late night, Aliff slept over. I woke up early cause I had a date with Shyra and Sally (her little girl, Salsabila, I call her Sally) to see Tim's precious little boy. The first boy for the gang! Didn't wake Aliff up cause he was still tired. Then Shyra called saying that we'll go after lunch cause Sally woke up late. So after bathing, I helped Ibu in the kitchen to prepare lunch, cause Kakhuriah went to see her abang. My parents had a function in Bangsar, so my mum started cooking for lunch early.

She cooked asam pedas and kangkung.  She left sawi for Syazwan (my brother) to cook, cause he likes to cook. I liked the sawi, and Syazwan was still sleeping. Then Aliff came down after he had bathed. Aliff said he'll cook the sawi, yeay! I would have cooked it myself (yeah, right) but Aliff hadn't cooked in awhile and he enjoys cooking, so I beralah. (yeah right again).

So while he cooked, I cleaned (cleaning is my best trait).

After lunch, Aliff went home cause he needed to catch up studying for his CFA paper 2 (yeah this guy loves studying) He took his paper 1 last year when he came back from UK. While waiting for Shyra, I took out my ribbon box and decorated the basket of fuits for Tim. Haha. Takde keje. Heee.

So, at 12.20pm Shyra picked me up. Shyra called Tim and Tim asked us to come at 1 cause she was in the middle of her post-baby-urut. So me and Shyra went to McD cause Sally hasn't eaten lunch. It was quite hard to distract Sally while her mama was queing up for her porridge. We played make-up and when I've finished pretending putting make up on her face (showed her the blusher mirror and she said "wow, pretty!"), luckily there was a fly which caught her interest. Ahahah. Feeding her was another drama. Shyra said she has passed on to the phase of not-wanting-to-eat. The first suap she cried cause she said it was too hot (but it wasn't actually ahaha). Then I think she ate 5-6 spoons and lost interest. It was about 1pm. so we packed the porridge and headed to Tim's house.

Sally

Shyra enticing Sally to eat by rewarding ice cream

Ungku Fatimah Zaharah (a.k.a Tim) gave birth to a healthy 2.85kg Adam Malek on 8th October 2010. When we were in highschool we always imagined Tim to be the first to marry, have lots of kids, be a housewife and take care of all our kids. I guess Shyra and Hanna langkah bendul. Tim was third to become a wife and third as a mum.

The beautiful Adam Malek

Me and Shyra (and many others according to Tim) thinks that the baby looks like her husband. But she doesn't agree. She said when the baby came out, he looked like her, and even if the baby looks like her husband now, he'll grow to look like her. Sounds like the "possessive-mother-hormons" are kicking in. Habislah semua girlfriend Adam. Hahah.

These are some of the pictures of Tim while she was preggers...Tim jangan marah k! Comellll!

This was during Nell's farewell. It was also Tim's post-wedding celebration (since we didn't get to throw her a hens). Tim bunting pelamin, so I guess little Adam is already in there somewhere :)

This was during Hanna's little girl's cukur jambul.

This was Shereen's wedding.

And this was my Engagement.

I've known Tim for 12 years. Can't believe she's a mother. Can't wait for my turn. InsyaAllah. Amin.