PREGNANT

Hahahahah...

NO.

I am not.

I am not pregnant...

....YET.

InsyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki.

It has been awhile since i wrote. Well I started this blog to write about my wedding, and now that that's done, I'm basically running out of topic to write. I know some bridezilla bloggers shift their writing to babies, as most of them gets knocked up quite soon after the wedding...

That has not happened to me, so no baby talk...

....YET.

Anyway, an incident today triggered me to write...

A colleague (not really a close one, we attend the same monthly meetings) got married about a couple of months before me...and after her wedding I noticed that she had gained some weight...and everytime I saw her, she seems to be gaining more weight...so, today when I saw her, I innocently asked her,

"dah pregnant ke?"

She replied:

"Takdelah, gemuk jee.."

....and walked away...

Whoopppsss...should have just kept my mouth shut.

Awkward.

Then my other friend told me, before I had asked that question, she had actually complained to my friend that she keeps on getting these "are you pregnant" question, and she was kind of annoyed..."kalau dah kahwin, kena ke terus ada baby?"

Ok. So, I was just being my curious self. It was wrong of me to assume that, just coz she had gained weight...I should have known better. I let my curiosity took the better of me. She must've felt annoyed, that, not even was she pregnant yet, but her body actually suggests that she is...**SLAPS FACE HARD**

I always hear people complaining of always being asked "oooh dah pregnant ke?", "bila nak ada isi?", and the most irritating, "tak pregnant lagi?" ... I guess if you get it all the time, those questions can be annoying and when you answer "NO" or "Belum ready lagi", SOME, not all, but there are SOME "annoying-judgmental" faces that comes after such reply.

I am a newly wed, and believe me, I get the same questions ALL the time...I myself was asked that question this morning when I stepped out of my car in the parking lot by a colleague who attended my wedding...I was even asked that like 1 month after my wedding...seriously? that fast? well, yes for those "bunting-pelamin" cases. But I never felt annoyed...I honestly don't feel any negative feeling whatsoever...I do get "the faces" when I say, "belum ready lagi kot", "belum try lagi" .... Oh well. I don't take offence or read in to it that much. It's my life, it's my body... But, I have learnt that to avoid those "faces" you dont have divulge all that, a simple "belum ada rezeki, insyaAllah" would suffice...so, that's my tagline for now.

Minus those prying-judgmental-freaks, I understand that the rest of them are just making small talks, and I appreciate that they are trying, and being human, I think it is natural for such questions to be asked after you have been recently married...I'm sure MOST of the time, they don't mean anything by it, simply to make small conversations...

I am sure to those who are trying, and not yet pregnant, those questions can feel like unneccessary pressure, or creeping into other people's business...and although I have not experienced it (god forbid I have to), I understand the frustration when such question is asked. Its not enough that you yourself, your mother, mother-in-law are questioning, then you have strangers, or people you are not closed to asking the same questions. And if you have gained weight, people automatically assume that you are pregnant, and that just makes your self esteem go way down as you have become so big that the only explanation is pregnancy.

I REALISE now, that those questions may be inappropriate...I've actually known this coz I ALWAYS hear people complaining, but I guess I've never asked, and was never shut off like today...so it just REMINDED me that, you know, those things are personal, and you have to respect that it can be sensitive to others even if it is not sensitive to you...who knows, if I started trying for a baby, and god forbids, it takes a while before I am baking, that it may be something I'd rather not be asked right?

Anyway, my point is, I understand and reminded again that that kind of question can be irritating, inapproriate and better left un-asked...and I've learnt my lesson...It was wrong for me to assume, it must have offended her...so, this is my apology to you...since I don't have the courage to say it to your face...I'm sure you are having a grudge on me now... :/

And although I am ok (for now) to being asked that question, I can not assume how others would feel...so, the lesson is: DON'T ASK..if they want to tell you, they'll tell you...or just wait until it is VERY CLEAR that she IS pregnant...then ask the other irritating questions "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" hahahhaha...if it is clear, why ask? ... or "DO YOU KNOW THE SEX?" "CAN I HOLD YOUR TUMMY?" Maybe we have to be more creative in making small talks and not to focus on personal questions...

However we try to deny or abstain from it, we ARE busy-bodies!

Human. We have a sickness for small talks.

Jari Manis - The 4th Finger

Found this interesting article.

I thought it would be nice to share.

have u ever wondered why the wedding ring is placed on the 4th finger?

fingers represent our life:

thumb = parents
index finger = siblings
3rd (center) finger = own self
4th finger = partner/spouse
5th (little) finger = our children

.........

 

let's try this game:
join your palms as shown in photo below

• bend the center finger and place them together back to back
• place the rest of the 4 fingers tip to tip

Game begins..

1. Try to part your thumb, the thumb represents parents, it can be parted because all human being  go through sickness and death. Our parents will leave us one day.

2.  Then part  your second finger, this finger represents brothers and sisters, they will have their own family which is the reason that they will leave us too.

3.Next, part your pinky, this represents your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they will have their own life and family. 

4. Try to part your fourth finger where we wear our wedding ring; you will be surprised to find that it cannot be parted at all. Because it represents husband and wife, your whole life,  you will be attached to each other.

****

INTERESTING RIGHT?

:)

26.6.2011 Groom's Reception

The week after my wedding hoopla was the Groom's Reception, on Sunday night, held at Dewan Merak Kayangan FELDA, Off Jalan Semarak, KL. It was a dinner reception which seated about 450 guests, of the Groom's family and closest friends.

There was not much preparation on my side, just to sort out the MUA and the ensembles. Basically my role is just to be present at the wedding! So, it was pretty much a breeze compared to the Nikah and Bride's Reception preparation. The MUA and the ensembles had been taken care of. The MUA is Aunty Faizah, who did my make up for the Nikah, and the ensembles were songkets which my MIL got from Indonesia and it was tailored by Faiz Boutique.  The ensembles were quite last minute as the songkets only arrived about a month before the date! Faiz did a good job in getting it ready in less than a month! All I needed to do was find someone to do the henna on my hand and get a flower bouquet (which I was told to arrange myself like 2 days before, ok, no worries, plenty of florist in Subang).

On Friday night, me and Aliff went to KLIA to pick up his uni friend back when he was in UK, who came all the way from Moscow. The next morning, we went again to KLIA to pick up another 2 of his friends who came from London. These 3 friends were Aliff's closest mates during his post-grad studies. I am guessing they are pretty tight as they flew in half across the world to attend his wedding reception on Sunday and flew back on Monday morning! They planned to stay longer for a vacation in Malaysia, but they were busy with work, so could only schedule 3 days off, 2 of which spent on the airplane. Anyway, Aliff is lucky to have such good friends! Aliff will have to save up to attend their weddings pulak!

After we sent his friends to their hotel and had breakfast with them, we went to Aliff's grandma's house to attend a khatam Quran. After that we went to Flowerworld, a florist in Subang to get the flower bouquet. Unfortunately, because it was already Saturday, and I needed the flowers the next day, the selection were scarce. Had to settle for white roses and eustomas. I actually planned to get calla lilies. Oh well.

Anyway, so yeah ok, like I have said in a previous entry, Aliff did not have time to have a bachelors party as he was busy with his CFA exams and Jakarta and work. So, eventhough he is a bachelor no more as of 17th June 2011, I gave him the night off to have his post-no-longer-bachelor's party with his friends on Saturday night. He told me he will be coming home, but it would be really late. Fine. I on the other hand, spent my night having Rekha (who was recommended by a fellow former bride, Hudra) drawing henna on my palms and feet. She told me to keep the inai on until it dried off, but I was already sleepy by 11pm, that I washed it off. I washed off the feet first, and to my horror, it turned out reaallly reallly dark! So I quickly washed off the ones on the palms, and it was dark as well! *Bridezilla moment alert* Soaked my hands and feet in water in the hopes that it would lighten. Rubbed minyak cap kapak as well because I heard it can make ur inai red. OMG...minyak cap kapak and water, my fingers kecut habis! Because I was rubbing them off and soaking them in water, some patterns of the henna on my nails and palms were fading away...so I asked Syida to reapply them using the henna tube I bought for the nikah. And I thought there won't be any drama left!

...or so I thought...Aliff didn't come home that night. Called him endlessly the morning after and he didn't pcik up. I got worried. I am pretty sure he fell asleep at his friends' hotel after the party, and if he is that tired, he won't be able to wake up to the ring/alarm of a phone unless someone shakes him real hard...but, the fact that he had told me he was coming home...that made me worried! So, atlast, at about 11am, he picked up the phone and said he had accidentally fell asleep at his friends' hotel while hanging out there after the party...HAISHH! He came home, and went back to his place to pack. Then his mum told him that the seating arrangements were all gone, because her laptop suddenly crashed! OMG. What else can go wrong? He had to do everything from scratch.

We FINALLY made our way to the hotel at about 4.30pm to pick up his best man, and reached the hall at about 5pm. Rehearsal was supposed to start at 4.30pm because there was a wedding before that, but the wedding party only cleared from the hall at 5pm, so rehearsal only started at 5.30pm.  I could not join the rehearsal, as I had to get ready for my make up. But it was fine because I'll just have to follow Aliff's que and the format is about the same for Malay weddings, so no worries there. Asyraf took my place as the Bride :)

Aliff and his Bestman

Aliff being the "Groom-Zilla"

Started my make up at 5.30pm. My family started coming by 7.00pm and hung out with me in the preparation room. By then Aliff had finished his rehearsal and joined me to get ready. Syida, Asyraf, Han and Aliff's bestman, Aran, also got ready in the same room. ALL IS FINALLY ON TRACK and everything went smoothly after. By 7.30pm guests started to arrive. Aliff's 2 other friends came and joined us.

the Inspiration for the look



Bride helping MOH getting ready



 

 

Aran preparing his speech

 

 

putting on my grandma's gold gelang kaki

Around 8.30pm most guests have arrived and seated and me and Aliff made our entrance to the hall to the sound of live kompang and "Gelora" by P.Ramlee and Saloma (my absolute FAV!). Aliff's reception is traditional, so through out the night we were accompanied by traditional songs. Once seated on the pelamin, and after the recitation of the doa, we were presented with a silat performance. It was quite aggresive, the silat fighthers we jumping on and off stage, but it was cool and definitely enlightening to the foreign guests. There were a number of foreign guests, most of them Aliff's mother's guests, so the reception was bilingual and every step of the ceremony was explained. That was one of the reasons his mother insisted on a really traditional reception.

 

So, after the merenjis, was the Pulut Kuning-Cutting. Then as we walked down the pelamin to the high table, we stopped by our respective grandmother's tables for them to merenjis...as they were quite old, and Aliff's grandmother being on the wheelchair, Aliff's aunts decided that we go to them to merenjis, instead of them having to go up the pelamin. Very good idea! Then we walked down to the hightable to the song "Saat Yang Bahagia" again by P. Ramlee and Saloma.

Dinner was then served. The picture and video montage was played during dessert. And after dessert we went back up to the pelamin for the speech by Iqa, Aliff's sister and Aran, Aliff's bestman. Aliff's uncle made Aran read a few pantun in malay and that got the guests cracking. After the speeches, the MC announced that it was the end of the night and me and Aliff made our way to the entrance to greet the guests goodbye, to the song of "Selamat Pengantin Baru" by Saloma. After, some guests mostly family and Aliff's close friends stayed back for pictures.



The MIL's foreign guests



Aliff's Cambridge mates

Both sides of the family

After the last guest left, me and Aliff went to the Trader's Hotel, which was a treat from my parents :) Kakmyra and family also spent the night at the same hotel, so we had breakfast together the next morning. Me and Aliff missed the breakfast at Shangri La and ended up ordering room service for breakfast, so this time, we made sure to wake up in time for the breakfast buffet. Went home at about 2pm and sent Han back to Gopeng. On the way home we stopped by a rest stop and had tea...

Ok, I'm going on and on even though the part of the wedding is over...because, after 3 months, I am still in denial that the wedding is finally OVER! I MISS being called a Bride-to-Be....

But the reality is, it is over ......... BUT, the Marriage is only BEGINNING!

I look forward to growing old with my bestfriend, my soulmate, my husband.

Till then.

Muaxxxxxxxxxxx.

18.6.2011 The Bride's Reception - Part II

... it started with the MC announcing the entrance of the guests of honor. And after they took their seats infront of the pelamin, the kompang started. My entourage walked with me and Aliff and we stopped right below the arch, followed by the selawat, very beautiful and soothing. Then, the bridesmaids, one by one, walked down the aisle to the song "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" by Harry Neilson. They looked so pretty.

The music stopped once the last bridesmaid reached where the guests of honor were seating. And then, the spotlight was on us, the next song came up and me and Aliff walked, for the first time as man and wife, hand in hand, to the beautiful voice of Maria singing "At Last" by Etta James (which was covered again by Beyonce).  The room was dark, but for the spot light following me and Aliff as we walk down the aisle to the pelamin. Friends and family lined up next to aisle and took pictures and waved...I see so many faces, the ones I've not seen for so long, the ones who have been by me for the wedding, I was HAPPY beyond words. All the drama, sweat and tears a few hours before dissapeared as if they never existed. The feeling I felt, walking in the arms of my newly husband, to the most PERFECT song befitting our love story, was indescribable. It was magical, it was surreal, I felt like i was floating. I know this sounds exagerrated, but that was how I felt. I was so excited that I was walking quite fast at one time, and Aliff whispered to me to walk slower and to enjoy the moment. And I realised, I am NEVER (hopefully) going to experience this again, and I started to slow down and enjoyed every bit of attention I was receiving.

The aisle was quite long (go for halls with long aisle, so you can soak in all the attention longer! believe me its the best feeling walking down that aisle with all eyes on you!), and it was just nice for the lenght of the song, we reached the top of the stage on the pelamin, just nicely as Maria finished singing. Then we took our seat followed by the recitation of the doa. The spotlight on us was sooooooo bright, but as I said, I was too happy that nothing bothered me...and it worked for the better as Kakmyra (who had the best seat that night, a bird's eye view of the whole hall, sitting upstairs on the balcony, because she still had to quarantine Ahmadi from everyone) said my dress was sparkling under the spot light and it looked really beautiful.

As the malay tradition went, the guests of honor and the parents went up couple by couple to bless us with the merenjis. After that was done, they were escorted to the main table. Followed by me and Aliff, escorted by my bridesmaids to the song of "Only You" by the Platters. One of my all time favorite song!

Then dinner was served. And, the same as the night before, I ate my heart out. Imagine, with all the drama earlier, that was my first meal that day. So, everything that the waiter served I said yes, put it on my plate! I think I was soo hungry that Que had to wipe off some stain on my cheeks later...sooo embarassing, as it was on my left cheek, which was ofcourse facing Tok Pa's wife. Imagine, I was talking to her all night with the stain on my cheek. OMG MALU! Takpelah. Whatevs. Like i said, nothing could ruin how i felt that night. And the same as the night before, Aliff didn't eat much. He said because he was really enjoying getting the chance to talk to Mukhriz who sat next to him. Mukhriz even tweeted a picture of us on his tweeter! While the guests enjoyed the dinner, my parents went around meeting their guests.

While they were serving the dinner, we were serenaded by the band that my dad had hired. They were quite good, singing SOME of the songs I had requested, but it's ok :) Suddenly I saw Adibah Noor on the stage singing...it was my mother's "surprise" to me and Aliff...BUT, as with all the surprises/secrets they tried to keep from me, I already knew...haha...But, I acted as surprised as I could, to make my mum happy. It was just delightful having dessert to the tune of Adibah Noor's beautiful voice.

Then they played the video montage...the first part was a 3 minute informal interview of Aliff and me (although Aliff's friend said Aliff talked as if he was giving a presentation hahah) on how we met and got together. This we recorded about a week before the wedding, as I have written here. The second part was another 3 minutes of the Nikah highlights, the night before. The video montage was done by our videographer Mimota Studio, and he is also HIGHLY recommended. He is very laid back, cool and most important VERY affordable! And his work on the montage was AWESOME. Me and Aliff loved it. The final product has not been presented to us yet, so hopefully that will turn out as good as the montage. Anyway, he was recommended by a fellow former bride-to-be, Shu and am so thankful to her.

 

The montage was followed by a short and sweet speech by the one and only Bapak.

After dinner was over, me and Aliff made our way back to the stage for the cake cutting. We were again escorted by my bridesmaids while Adibah Noor sang "L.O.V.E" by Nat King Cole (which was "supposedly" to be sang by Kakmyra). Finally saw the cake, and it was beautiful, just as ordered. And I loved the topper, a dancing bride and groom...so cute!

After the cake cutting, the MC announced that its the end of the reception, and the bride and groom will be making our way out to the main entrance to meet with the guests. Then "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" again by The Platters was played as me and Aliff made our way out...as we walked down the aisle, my beautiful lady friends who were lined up at both sides of the aisle threw flower petals at us. LOVED it!

We reached the end of the aisle and was met by my parents. Guests started to line up to meet us. That was the only time I get to actually mingle and meet my guests! My former colleagues, current colleagues, bosses, friends from school, childhood friends...I was quite bummed as I didn't get to spend so much time with them, especially those I have not met for yearssssssss. But the number of guests was too overwhelming, so I only get to spend a few measely seconds with each guest.

Some family and friends stayed back to take pictures with us. We actually planned to have an after party of poco-poco and karaoke, but poco-poco was banned, and there was going to be another wedding the next day and we had to leave the hall by 1130pm...so after pictures, everyone went home.

 

Kakmyra and Adri had booked us a night in Shangri La, Putrajaya as a wedding gift. So, after taking pictures at the hall, we made our way to the hotel. We asked Syida and the cousins to join us for supper at the hotel. We ordered room service - Nasi Goreng Special...very nice! Everyone digged in and enjoyed the food because everyone was TIRED. These were my helpers, my assistants, my runners for the wedding, and they finally got to rest! Hahaha.... I on the other hand was still pumped up...in denial that my wedding day is about to end. Hahaha...They hung out until about 2/3am.

So, that was my wedding. Only God knows the challenges that we had to face, but in the end, with all the drama and flaws, I feel that I had a SPECTACULAR night! And the best part of it all, is that I get the bestest life companion out of it!

Our Next-Morning Breakfast

...but I took comfort that although the Nikah is over, the Wedding Reception is over....I still have one more Wedding Reception the week after! Although I will not have any control over it, I felt consoled that The Wedding is still not YET over!!! Hahah...

Toodles.