NO.
I am not.
I am not pregnant...
....YET.
InsyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki.
It has been awhile since i wrote. Well I started this blog to write about my wedding, and now that that's done, I'm basically running out of topic to write. I know some bridezilla bloggers shift their writing to babies, as most of them gets knocked up quite soon after the wedding...
That has not happened to me, so no baby talk...
....YET.
Anyway, an incident today triggered me to write...
A colleague (not really a close one, we attend the same monthly meetings) got married about a couple of months before me...and after her wedding I noticed that she had gained some weight...and everytime I saw her, she seems to be gaining more weight...so, today when I saw her, I innocently asked her,
"dah pregnant ke?"
She replied:
"Takdelah, gemuk jee.."
....and walked away...
Whoopppsss...should have just kept my mouth shut.
Awkward.
Then my other friend told me, before I had asked that question, she had actually complained to my friend that she keeps on getting these "are you pregnant" question, and she was kind of annoyed..."kalau dah kahwin, kena ke terus ada baby?"
Ok. So, I was just being my curious self. It was wrong of me to assume that, just coz she had gained weight...I should have known better. I let my curiosity took the better of me. She must've felt annoyed, that, not even was she pregnant yet, but her body actually suggests that she is...**SLAPS FACE HARD**
I always hear people complaining of always being asked "oooh dah pregnant ke?", "bila nak ada isi?", and the most irritating, "tak pregnant lagi?" ... I guess if you get it all the time, those questions can be annoying and when you answer "NO" or "Belum ready lagi", SOME, not all, but there are SOME "annoying-judgmental" faces that comes after such reply.
I am a newly wed, and believe me, I get the same questions ALL the time...I myself was asked that question this morning when I stepped out of my car in the parking lot by a colleague who attended my wedding...I was even asked that like 1 month after my wedding...seriously? that fast? well, yes for those "bunting-pelamin" cases. But I never felt annoyed...I honestly don't feel any negative feeling whatsoever...I do get "the faces" when I say, "belum ready lagi kot", "belum try lagi" .... Oh well. I don't take offence or read in to it that much. It's my life, it's my body... But, I have learnt that to avoid those "faces" you dont have divulge all that, a simple "belum ada rezeki, insyaAllah" would suffice...so, that's my tagline for now.
Minus those prying-judgmental-freaks, I understand that the rest of them are just making small talks, and I appreciate that they are trying, and being human, I think it is natural for such questions to be asked after you have been recently married...I'm sure MOST of the time, they don't mean anything by it, simply to make small conversations...
I am sure to those who are trying, and not yet pregnant, those questions can feel like unneccessary pressure, or creeping into other people's business...and although I have not experienced it (god forbid I have to), I understand the frustration when such question is asked. Its not enough that you yourself, your mother, mother-in-law are questioning, then you have strangers, or people you are not closed to asking the same questions. And if you have gained weight, people automatically assume that you are pregnant, and that just makes your self esteem go way down as you have become so big that the only explanation is pregnancy.
I REALISE now, that those questions may be inappropriate...I've actually known this coz I ALWAYS hear people complaining, but I guess I've never asked, and was never shut off like today...so it just REMINDED me that, you know, those things are personal, and you have to respect that it can be sensitive to others even if it is not sensitive to you...who knows, if I started trying for a baby, and god forbids, it takes a while before I am baking, that it may be something I'd rather not be asked right?
Anyway, my point is, I understand and reminded again that that kind of question can be irritating, inapproriate and better left un-asked...and I've learnt my lesson...It was wrong for me to assume, it must have offended her...so, this is my apology to you...since I don't have the courage to say it to your face...I'm sure you are having a grudge on me now... :/
And although I am ok (for now) to being asked that question, I can not assume how others would feel...so, the lesson is: DON'T ASK..if they want to tell you, they'll tell you...or just wait until it is VERY CLEAR that she IS pregnant...then ask the other irritating questions "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" hahahhaha...if it is clear, why ask? ... or "DO YOU KNOW THE SEX?" "CAN I HOLD YOUR TUMMY?" Maybe we have to be more creative in making small talks and not to focus on personal questions...
However we try to deny or abstain from it, we ARE busy-bodies!
Human. We have a sickness for small talks.
